April 14

5 Habits That Will Put You Ahead of 97% of Men

Hey man

If I wanted to place a bet on how your life will turn out…

I would look at one single thing…

Your habits.

Your habits will determine whether you end up like 97% of men living unfulfilling lives who will eventually wake up at 40 wondering where it all went wrong.

  • Men whose only source of comfort and escape is Netflix.
  • Men who dread going to work.
  • Men who wake up next to a wife they can barely tolerate.

Your habits determine whether you will end up like this or if you will live a life of freedom and fulfilment.

You’ve probably watched a bunch of videos and read books on self-development already but you’re still stuck in a loop.

That’s because it’s not about what you know but how you apply what you know.

That’s why I’m going to give you 5 unconventional habits you won’t find anywhere else, that helped me release a lifetime of trauma and create a life on my terms.

Here they are.

Habit #1

We’re all chronically online now.

And I believe this has stunted our social skills tremendously.

In 1990, 3% of men reported having no close friends.

In 2021, this shot up to about 15%.

Harvard discovered that the biggest predictor of a healthy life is the quality of relationships.

If that fact gave you a sense of dread, don’t worry.

There’s one small habit that can inoculate you from the epidemic of social incompetence.

And that’s making small talk with strangers wherever you go.

The cashier in the grocery store.

The barista in the coffee shop.

Or hell … just saying hi to people in the street.

This small habit turns you gently over time, as water shapes rock, into a social creature.

The opportunities this creates in your life are immense.

And you will be 50% happier for it.

Habit #2

You have a superpower that’s available to you right now.

But unfortunately, almost everyone will do just about anything to avoid accessing it.

They’ll even choose an electric shock over it.

The University of Virginia ran a study putting people in a room alone for 6 - 15 minutes. They had two options. Sit alone with their thoughts or press a button to give them an electric shock.

Not just a little electric shock either.

A shock so bad that participants said they would pay money to avoid it.

And here’s what happened…

67% of men chose to shock themselves repeatedly.

One guy even shocked himself 190 times in the 15 minute period.

This tells us that most people are so used to being distracted that solutide feels scary.

But this is a problem.

Because if you can’t be alone with yourself, you’re setting yourself up for some bad things in life.

You’ll spend time with people you don’t vibe with just to avoid being alone.

You’ll have no idea who you are, what you want and where to go…because you’re too distracted.

You’ll end up just following the herd and being a sheep.

Solitude is for people who want to live an authentic, meaningful life of freedom

Habit #3

Okay, this next habit is way outside the box.

Have you ever been to a rave before?

If you have, you’ll know that there’s always one super sweaty dude who’s really into it near the speakers with his shirt off.

That sweaty dude used to be me.

I was that guy at festivals and raves. Once upon a time, I lived for it.

Moving my body in such an uninhibited way was incredibly fun.

But little did I know, something deeper was happening.

I recently heard trauma described as a disruption of flow.

One moment you’re enjoying life but then something terrible happens that locks your brain into a fear state which freezes your body.

When I came across this idea, a lightbulb went off in my mind.

In my hippy days, I wasn’t only doing it for fun.

Dancing and moving my body was healing me on a deep and almost spiritual level.

I was literally moving the trauma out of my system.

It’s no surprise that my mind was clear for days afterwards and my best ideas would come to me.

I believe most of us carry trauma in our system that cripples our potential.

And free movement/dancing helps you clear it.

But you don’t need to go to raves.

Take up a salsa class. Do a martial art like Capoeira. Go to ecstatic dance events.

It will be a game-changer.

Habit #4

Mike was a former client of mine who came to see me to improve his social life and be more confident with women.

I gave him all the usual homework and exercises, but something just wasn’t working.

Until one day I decided to ask him about his internet habits.

He revealed that he was spending all day staring at his screen for his work as a software developer.

Then he spends his time on Discord and Reddit in the evening.

Whenever he did go out, his phone was glued to his hand and he was listening to a podcast or something on his headphones.

He was essentially, an internet addict.

This was ruining his ability to talk to people, flirt with women and have a fun social life.

So I made him get out of the house more and break up with his phone.

I made him read the book “how to Break Up with your phone” and follow some of the protocols.

I made him stick to it for 30 days and report back.

He reported that he noticed women looking at him when he was out for a walk.

He noticed that he was less anxious around people and more talkative.

He was also much calmer, productive and clear-minded.

Social media and the internet is a miracle.

But it will destroy you if you don’t tame it.

Habit #5

I first started writing in a journal after my first breakup back in 2015.

I’ve still got the journal entries actually. Listen to this:

“So i've dreamt about her for the past couple of nights. Must have somehow been my subconscious saying something to me. Maybe that I missed her or something. Made me even more bastard confused than I already was to be honest.”

I was quite a wordsmith as you can tell.

It helped me through that breakup.

But little did I know, something else was happening under the surface.

I had no way of knowing it … but that little habit would change the course of my life forever.

Not only was that habit the most powerful way of processing the trauma that was chasing me up until that point.

But I was also building a skill that would earn me a tremendous amount of money one day and allow me to never have a boss ever again.

If I had known it at the time, I wouldn’t have skipped a day.

If you’re a man who wants to rid himself of trauma, fears and negative self-sabotaging patterns while building a skill that will earn your freedom one day …

Writing is the single most important habit you can implement.

By far.

But if you can’t even write about your own life, you’ll never be able to write in an engaging way that gets you paid.

Download my free journal to get started.

Peace, mate.

Oliver “White Hamza” Cowlishaw


5 habits that will put you ahead

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