Mate, I don’t care what kind of job you work, how much money you make, or how attractive the woman you’re dating is.
None of that matters to me.
What I care about—what truly matters—is whether you are living life on your own terms.
Are you creating a life that’s yours?
Or are you just doing what you’re told, following the script laid out by society, your parents, or your teachers?
I want you to find out who you really are and build a life that reflects that.
Today, I’m giving you six signs that you are living life on your own terms.
And if you’re not, you’ll know by the end of this article because we’re framing this through the lens of existential failure vs. existential heroism.
I used to be an existential failure—someone who made choices based on what I thought others wanted.
I was a people-pleaser, afraid to live my own life.
But now? I wake up when I want. I wear what I want. I say, think, and do what I want.
I don’t have a boss. I travel where I want. I am financially free.
But more importantly, I am free to live according to my own values.
And that’s what I want for you.
So let’s get into it.
1. He Makes His Own Decisions
An existential failure is indecisive—not because he lacks intelligence, but because he bases his decisions on what he thinks others want. He waits for permission. He lacks a strong internal compass because he hasn’t built a connection to himself.
An existential hero, on the other hand, has a deep conviction about who he is and what he stands for. He doesn’t need external validation to make a decision. Sure, he might consult others, but the final call? That’s his.
If you hesitate on decisions, constantly worrying about what others will think, ask yourself:
Do I truly know what I want?
If not, it’s time to start figuring that out.
2. He Knows His Core Values
Your values are the guiding principles of your life. An existential failure doesn’t know his. He’s spent his entire life following the rules, being a ‘good boy,’ doing what’s expected of him. But when you strip all that away and ask him, What’s important to you? he has no real answer.
An existential hero? He can tell you exactly what his values are.
For me, my values are freedom, independence, self-sovereignty, and authenticity. And every decision I make aligns with those values. When you know what you stand for, your life choices become much clearer.
If you can’t define your values, you’re living someone else’s life.
It’s time to change that.
3. He Can Say NO
An existential failure is a nice guy—he doesn’t set boundaries, he avoids conflict, and he lives to please others. He believes that being liked by everyone is more important than standing for something. But to be an individual, you have to be willing to stand apart from the crowd. And that means saying NO when necessary.
An existential hero is not harmless. He has integrated his inner warrior in the service of his values. He can assert himself. He can set boundaries. He can tell someone to back off. He doesn’t tolerate disrespect.
If you struggle to say no, ask yourself:
Am I living for myself or for the approval of others?
4. He Defines His Own Success
An existential failure has a second-hand definition of success—one fed to him by society. To him, success means making loads of money, driving an expensive car, and dating a hot woman. But does he even want these things? Or is he just chasing them because he thinks he should?
An existential hero has his own definition of success, and he has the balls to pursue it.
And yes, it takes balls—because the moment you go against society’s expectations, you will face resistance.
People will test you when you start living life on your own terms.
That’s the price of freedom.
The question is: Are you willing to pay it?
5. He Takes Full Responsibility
An existential failure avoids responsibility. His life just happens to him. He blames his circumstances, his past, or society for his struggles. I see this a lot in men who get caught up in Red Pill or MGTOW ideology. They externalize blame, saying, Women are the problem. Society is unfair to men.
Now, I’m not saying that some of these criticisms aren’t valid. But what I am saying is that they become excuses if they prevent you from taking responsibility for your own life.
An existential hero says: My life is the result of my choices. And my future will be the result of the choices I make now.
As long as you deny responsibility, you stay trapped in the same patterns.
But the moment you take full ownership of your life, you reclaim your power.
6. He Embraces Discomfort
An existential failure prioritizes comfort above all else. His habits revolve around avoiding uncertainty, avoiding deep questions, avoiding emotions—basically, avoiding life itself.
But short-term comfort always comes at the cost of long-term fulfillment.
An existential hero embraces discomfort. He understands that existence itself is uncertain, and rather than running from that fact, he faces it. He prioritizes depth over comfort. He doesn’t run from anxiety or pain—he meets it head-on.
If you are constantly seeking comfort, you are avoiding life.
The best things in life—growth, success, deep relationships—require stepping into discomfort.
Step Up and Own Your Life
Now, maybe hearing the word failure triggers something in you.
Maybe it feels harsh.
But let’s be real—the majority of people will go to their graves never having truly lived. And I don’t want that for you.
I want you to be independent, self-sovereign, awake, and fully conscious of who you are and what you want.
The truth is, the only real failure in life is not having the courage to live your own life.
But you don’t have to be perfect. No one is.
This isn’t about being perfect—it’s about making progress.
If you’re striving to improve, if you’re working to become 1% better every day, then you’re already walking the path of existential heroism.
You are already moving toward living life fully on your own terms.
Mate, I appreciate you.
Thanks for reading.
Now go out there and own your life.
Drop me an email if you enjoyed reading.
Stay courageous,
Oliver