My girlfriend, who I had been with for 5 years, left me for another man.

This threw my life into complete chaos. I felt deeply broken, undesirable and unattractive. I thought that if the person who knew me the most didn't want me, I must be fundamentally broken in some way.

To repair my wounded ego, I learned quickly how to sleep with women. At the time, I needed the validation. I needed to know that I was lovable and a woman wanting to sleep with me was evidence of that, or so I thought.

I learned how to charm and seduce. I learned how to put on the act of being a confident extrovert despite being a thoughtful, geeky introvert at heart.

Over the following couple of years after, I slept with countless women.

It was fun. Good sex always is. But after a while I started to feel hollow afterwards.

I couldn't understand why I felt so empty inside despite having had an amazing sexual experience the night before.

But soon I realised that it was down to one thing...

I was putting on an act.

I was attempting to win the approval of women by being super extroverted, extra nice and witty.

Deep down I thought that my authentic, weird, introverted self could never be liked (let alone loved) by anyone.

But the hollowness. The emptiness. It started to become all consuming.

Eventually, I had to reflect. Something had to change. After reading Models by Mark Manson (amazing book), I began doing what was previously unthinkable. I started being authentic. Fearlessly.

On dates, I started talking about my weird obsession with fantasy voice acting. I revealed my tendency to binge on video games and pizza when I'm stressed. I admitted that I slept in my older brother's bed until I was 10 because I was afraid of zombies.

And much, much more.

Expecting to be abandoned and left completely alone, I was shocked to find that after revealing who I really was...

Women didn't abandon me. They didn't leave me. They certainly didn't refuse to get naked with me.

In fact, I began to experience deeper and more powerful emotional connection. The women I went on dates with started opening up to me about their imperfections and struggles in life. We started sharing something different. Something deeper. Without the performance, I experienced a feeling of connection to the woman in front of me.

My confidence which used to be fake, became real. I stopped feeling exhausted from being around people. The anxiety went away. I often caught myself setting boundaries and expressing myself in free and direct ways. I started going for the kiss without hesitation. I made clear my intentions and desires (which they often love, by the way).

Most importantly, my inner civil war ended.

And pretty quickly, I stopped feeling so hollow after spending time with a woman. The sex got 100x better, even on first dates!