I had some thoughts that I wrote in my journal today and wanted to share them with you. It's about dating apps and how they can help or hinder your process of becoming a man who women are naturally attracted to.
With that in mind, here's when you should/shouldn't use them IMO.
- Cannot confidently approach a woman and talk to her.
- Have few/no hobbies or interests.
- Lack social skills and struggle talking to people in general.
- Almost never go out.
- Rarely meet new women in real life.
Then you should absolutely not use dating apps.
This is because...
- Unless you get consistent matches they fuck up your confidence and warp your self-image, making it heavily biased towards the negative.
- They become yet another addiction that distracts you from building a life you love and becoming a confident man that women naturally want to date.
- If dating apps aren't working, they progressively lower your standards. When you don't get a match in weeks, you start craving ANY match. This is a horrible place to be and a downward spiral of low self-esteem.
Dating apps can be useful if you've already got the above taken care of. Even then though, I still suggest that for most guys, online dating makes up 20% of your focus when it comes to your dating life at most.
So for guys who struggle with online dating, I suggest a 30-day detox where they:
- Quit porn (I know it's random but it helps a lot).
- Quit dating apps.
- Take up a confidence building social activity (dance, martial arts, public speaking).
- Do a certain number of cold approaches per week (whatever is do-able for you).
Then after 30 days, you can re-assess. It should be enough to break you out of a rut.
Anyway, I hope this is fuel for thought.
Good luck brothers.