I’ve worked with a lot of men over the past few years.
And there are a few things that I’ve seen men consistently do that derail or damage their lives…
In both small and massive ways.
And I’m giving you 8 of them today…
1) Being Mr. Nice Guy
This has been a big one that used to hold me back in life.
Believing that being nice and harmless will get me everything I want.
While this may have made you a good boy in Mum and Dad’s eyes as a child…
This is the opposite of what works as an adult.
Being excessively nice makes you a people pleaser.
It robs you of self-respect.
It makes you avoid confrontation.
And it kills a woman’s respect and attraction for you.
2) Letting Their Vices Run Their Lives
If we‘re constantly chasing short-term gratification, our attention will be pulled in so many directions that our life can feel out of control.
It’s almost impossible to build a fulfilling life if you can’t say no to booze, alcohol, weed, porn etc.
But so many men make the mistake of allowing their lives to be driven by cravings and pleasure-seeking.
3) Neglecting Their Body
Another thing a lot of men do is fail to take care of their bodies.
At a great cost to their energy, motivation and overall happiness.
Building a strong, fit and healthy body is such a life hack that it’s impossible to list all the benefits.
But a lot of men don’t take this seriously enough.
4) Chasing Pussy Over Purpose
It’s extremely easy for a man to let his purpose fade into the background while he chases women.
Different sexual partners.
Needless relationship drama.
Flings that are never going anywhere.
I’ve struggled with this myself a lot and have recently taken steps to stop.
An exploration phase is something I believe all men should go through.
But if this becomes an endless chase - you’re killing your potential and wasting time you won’t ever get back.
5) Choosing The Wrong Woman
One of the most important decisions a man will ever make is who he spends his life with.
But far too many men just passively find themselves settling for a relationship with a woman they never really chose with their eyes open.
A lot of men fail to ask the real questions like:
- (If you want kids) Would she be a good mother?
- Do we share the same deep values and beliefs?
- Are our lifestyles compatible?
- Is this woman honest, caring and supportive?
- Are we sexually compatible? Do I find her attractive?
And this has the potential to destroy a man’s life.
6) Settling In His Career/Profession
“I don’t enjoy my job but it pays well and it’s comfortable”
This is the calling card sentence of a domesticated, emasculated man.
He’s traded an authentic, challenging and rich life for an existence of dull drudgery in exchange for a regular paycheck.
Does this mean you need to be irresponsible? Not at all.
But settling for a career that doesn’t fulfil you for 10+ years is a waste of time, energy and opportunity.
7) Living On Autopilot
An unintentional life is a life chosen for you by other people.
If you aren’t building your own life, you’re building someone else’s.
Too many men have absolutely no idea who they are.
Their values. Their desires. Their deeply held principles and gifts.
So they do as they're told.
Behave as society tells them to. Conform. Fit in. Do what everyone else does.
And we often wonder why we’re miserable.
8) Neglecting Male Friendships
A tribe of other men who support, love, challenge and encourage you is one of the most important assets you will ever have.
But the male loneliness pandemic is real.
1 in 3 men believes that there is no one to help them out if in they're in need.
1 in 5 men have no close friends at all.
And the worst thing about this is that it gets harder to make friends as you get older.
Not only do you risk getting lonelier as you get older.
But by avoiding male friendships you risk making your woman your only source of emotional supply.
This can become one of the biggest strains on a relationship.
I hope this article helped you, mate.
Presence & Power
Oliver