Alright, mate.

Have you ever been in a relationship with a chaotic woman?

I have. Twice.

And if yours were anything like mine, you probably won't forget it any time soon.

You walk on eggshells hiding your thoughts or changing your behavior because you’re afraid of an argument erupting.

Your genuine feelings or vulnerabilities are either treated as weaknesses or ignored completely.

Your partner, who was affectionate and sweet in the beginning .. now jabs you with subtle insults, mockery, or public disrespect (often disguised as jokes).

It's the kind of thing that emasculates and erodes you over time.

It wears down your confidence, energy, and self-respect.

My breakdown happened when, at the end of the relationship, I took a hard look at myself and realized that I just didn't like the man I was anymore.

And I was terrified of getting worse or repeating the same cycle for the rest of my life.

So I got to work on myself to make sure that didn't happen.

Not only did I break free (yes it’s possible) from my people-pleasing with women.

I naturally awakened and integrated my healthy dominant side.

Now, the only women in my life over the last 5 years are loving, respectful sweethearts.

And looking back I realized that my “nice guy syndrome” and deep unconscious people-pleasing tendencies were making me a prime target for chaotic women.

Here are some ways your “nice guy” syndrome may be attracting chaotic women…

1. You have poor boundaries

You don't really know what you want, what you need, or how to communicate it.

This makes you a prime target for a woman who actively resists taking responsibility.

Deep down she knows that if she pushes you, you will cave and her reality will win.

She can continue to extract emotional supply from you, with no consequences.

2. You are a chronic over-giver

Because of your past conditioning, a part of your self-worth is derived from giving to other people.

You might even feel like you don't really exist other than to simply shut up, provide, do favours and put out fires.

So you find yourself in relationships with women who love to take take take and resent giving anything in return.

Eventually she may come to see you as the "pleaser/provider” instead of a powerful man she respects.

3. You aren’t actually attracted to healthy women

As a child, your nervous system became conditioned to emotional chaos, turmoil and inconsistency.

You got the message that “this is what love is.”

Now as an adult, chaos feels familiar and peace feels strange.

You might even find yourself being bored by emotionally healthy women.

And until you resolve this, chaos is all you will attract.

4. You are afraid of strong emotions

You’re an emotionally sensitive, self-aware, compassionate, empathic man.

When you were younger, you learned to read the room and manage the situation to avoid strong emotions (which were big and scary as a boy).

The problem is now you're doing the same thing.

You actively shape shift and become a chameleon to avoid strong emotions from her and you sacrifice and self abandon in the process.

The more ground you give, the more ground an emotionally chaotic woman will take.

I know all of these is because I recognise all of these in myself.

And if you don't overcome this, then in all likelihood you will simply just keep repeating these same patterns.

But if you want to finally overcome your nice guy, people pleasing tendencies that attract this kind of toxicity and chaos to achieve the kind of results that Thomas got:

I got a new partner with the newly found confidence, healthy egoism and strength gained, and I would never have been able to get into such a truly lovely relationship without the help of Oliver. - Thomas, 41, Switzerland.

Reply to this email with the word “LEADER” and I’ll tell you how I work.

Stay courageous,

Oliver