Hey mate,
What if the root of your shyness, anxiety, or people-pleasing isn’t weakness … but something deeper?
Most men think they need to “be stronger” or “stay hard” to finally feel confident.
But here’s the truth:
At the core of people-pleasing and Nice Guy patterns isn’t a lack of strength.
It’s shame.
A quiet, often invisible belief that whispers:
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“Something is wrong with me.”
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“If I’m fully honest, they will leave.”
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“I need to be nice to have value.”
On top of that … anxiety, overthinking and self-doubt grow like a weed.
But shame is the source.
And here’s the part most men miss:
Shame is a wound formed in relationship … so it can only be healed in relationship.
It doesn’t heal in isolation.
It heals when a man finds the courage to come out of hiding and into real connection.
But doing that in the “wild” (at work, in dating, or with emotionally unsafe people) often backfires.
A man who opens up in the wrong environment usually pays a price:
judgment, loss of respect, or rejection.
So he retreats again. And the cycle continues.
This is exactly why I’m launching a men’s group starting Tuesday.
It’s not a pick-up artist club focused on “getting girls.”
And it’s not a passive therapy space where men are encouraged to share without structure, boundaries, or healthy challenge.
It’s a grounded container where men can:
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Heal shame
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Build real confidence
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Stop abandoning themselves
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Discover who they actually are
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Reconnect with their inner masculine FIRE
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Get support from other men doing the same work
Here are the details:
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Limited to 20 men
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Doors close tomorrow (and stay closed for 2 - 3 months)
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Calls are on Tuesdays, 7:00–8:30pm GMT (starting 10th February)
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£97/month
If you’re done trying to fix this alone, you can read more and join here:
https://www.olivercowlishaw.com/community
No pressure.
But if something in you knows this is the work, trust that.
Speak soon,
Oliver
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