Alright, mate.
I’m 33 now.
I’m not the same guy I was at 23, and I’ve made enough mistakes in dating to know what actually matters.
So here are the three things I pay attention to now.
None of them are physical.
Attraction matters, obviously.
But if you’re making serious decisions based on her body, don’t be surprised when things go tits up eventually.
The first thing is clarity.
Can she communicate what she actually wants?
Can she be honest about her intentions?
Can she express how she feels without making you guess or decode everything?
… especially when things get tense or emotional.
Because that’s where most relationships fall apart.
The second is maturity and emotional intelligence.
Does she know herself?
Can she take responsibility when she messes up?
Can she look at a problem and try to solve it, instead of turning it into a blame game?
Life gets difficult. That’s a given.
You want someone who can handle that without creating unnecessary chaos.
The third is stability.
Is she generally consistent in how she shows up?
Does she have healthy ways of dealing with stress?
Can she go through normal ups and downs without turning everything into a crisis?
Because if she can’t regulate herself, you will end up carrying that weight.
And it drains you fast.
When you get clear on what you actually want, dating changes.
You stop chasing, overthinking and stop feeling so needy.
This is when you stop feeling like a bottom feeder begging for crumbs and scraps…
And shift into a mindset of being the chooser.
Here’s the rub, though.
This only works if you’re bringing the same qualities to the table.
Clarity. Maturity. Stability.
And this is what I help my clients create within themselves.
But let me ask you, what do YOU look for in a woman? And how did you learn that lesson?
Stay courageous,
Oliver
