Alright mate,
You can be doing everything right and still get nowhere with women.
I had a client, let’s call him Stan.
He was 36, making good money, in shape, social, and actually putting himself out there.
He was going to meetups, singles events, and dates consistently.
And still, nothing.
Same messages over and over again.
“You’re a nice guy, but I’m not feeling it.”
“You’ll make someone very happy one day.”
I liked Stan. He was one of the most intelligent men I have ever come across.
And the truth is…
He wasn’t getting rejected because he lacked social skills or awareness.
He was getting rejected because there was no edge to him.
Around women he liked, he would suddenly shrink into this flat, nervous and muted version of himself.
He would watch the initial spark fade as the “friendzone” enveloped him yet again.
That drove him mad, because he knew on paper he had everything handled.
But when we looked closer, it made perfect sense.
When he was a kid, his dad cheated on his mum and it tore the family apart.
After that, his mum left him with a very clear message, whether she meant to or not.
Never be like your father.
So Stan internalised something powerful.
“If I am a sexual man, I am a bad man.”
And from that point on, he shut that part of himself down.
He became respectful, agreeable, and safe.
The kind of guy women feel comfortable around, but never feel drawn to.
That is why he kept hearing the same thing again and again.
He was liked, but he was not desired.
And to be honest, this is exactly what I see with a lot of men I work with.
The ones who struggle the most are not clueless.
They are the self-aware ones.
The guys who have read the books, done the therapy, journaled, reflected, and tried to understand themselves from every angle.
Yet the moment they sit across from a woman they are actually attracted to, all of that awareness disappears into the background and the same pattern takes over.
They hold back, filter themselves, and default to being the “good guy” who’s terrified of rocking the boat.
Then they leave the interaction frustrated with themselves, knowing they didn’t say or do what they actually wanted to.
That isn’t just a lack of confidence.
It is self-abandonment happening in real time.
Shrinking your full personality, wearing a mask and clinging to control because you’re afraid she’ll reject the REAL you.
And all of that self-awareness becomes a way of avoiding the one thing that actually matters, which is the discomfort of letting her see that you are a sexual man with desire.
So you tighten your grip trying to manage her perception of you.
And nothing changes.
That is exactly what we are breaking this Sunday in the Stop Shrinking Around Women workshop.
This is not just about giving you more theory or more things to think about.
In those two hours, I’m giving you work to do.
We will identify the exact persona you slip into around women and why it keeps you invisible.
We will look at where you abandon your own thoughts, boundaries, and desires in real interactions.
And I will give you practical tools you can actually use to express intent and attraction without freezing up.
There is also a workbook included so you leave with something concrete, and I’ll be offering a live Q&A at the end.
If you are looking to sit back and collect more information, this is not for you.
If you are ready to stop clinging to control and start letting your true self with all of it’s desire, intensity and energy be SEEN one baby step at a time …
Then you can grab your spot for the workshop here: https://buy.stripe.com/eVq7sKftfaGO74B1KA9bO08
Sunday, 5 to 7pm UK
£47
Only 13 spots left (and this WILL sell out).
Stay courageous,
OC
