Brother.

If women are consistently NOT choosing you, this email will sting.

But I believe you’re strong enough for me not to sugar coat things with you.

So let's kill the excuses first.

That's all cope.

Because right now there are men shorter than you, broker than you, objectively worse-looking than you, having the kind of intimacy and connection you keep telling yourself you can't have.

So if it's not the things you blame, what is it?

Here's the real reason.

Deep down, you've got nice guy programming.

It's almost wired into the cells of your body.

What does that actually mean?

It means you hide your desire because some part of you believes it's shameful.

So you play the friend.

You tell yourself that being agreeable and easygoing is the route in, and then you quietly resent the "bad boys" who get the woman, simply because they're showing their sexuality unapologetically in a way you're still too afraid to.

It means you let her walk all over you.

You swallow your anger and bury your assertiveness, because some part of you is convinced that the moment you express it, she abandons you.

So you perform.

“Nothing bothers me. It's fine. No problem. Don't worry about it.”

But it does bother you.

She says things you don't like. She does things that wind you up.

And you say nothing, so the resentment builds underneath, quietly, while you smile on the surface.

Here's the part most men never understand.

The more you push your desire down, the more you suppress your assertiveness and your ambition to keep the peace, the less safe you become to her.

Because you're incongruent.

You're showing her one thing while she's feeling something completely different in your presence. And she clocks it. Every time (many women are fantastic at sniffing a man’s bullshit).

That gap between what you project and what you actually are doesn't read as "nice."

It reads as untrustworthy, and in extreme cases … a little cowardly.

And if she can't trust that the man across from her is who he says he is, then on some level you're a danger to her.

So she pulls away to protect herself.

It was never the looks, money or lack of status.

You don’t need to become a fucking looksmaxxer or earn 7 figures just to experience intimacy, love and connection.

You just need to realise that it’s your “nice guy conditioning” that’s screwing you over.

And that, unlike your height, is the thing you can actually fix.

If you’re just done tolerating less love, connection, intimacy and authentic fucking JOY than you deserve, I want to speak to you.

Until next time,

Stay courageous.

Oliver