Alright mate
Women don’t respect nice guys.
And let me tell you how I realised this.
Back in 2017, I was at a music festival in Romania with my girlfriend at the time.
(It was proper hippy. You could practically smell the festival from a mile away.)
On the surface, it was lovely. Sun, music, happy people everywhere.
But on the inside, I was falling apart.
My girlfriend and I were constantly clashing.
I was needy, anxious and jealous.
It was an absolute shit show.
For an extra kick in the balls, we linked up with another couple, and the guy was everything I wasn’t at the time.
He was confident, grounded and assertive.
His girlfriend was soft, feminine and clearly loved being around him.
To add insult to injury, I could tell my girlfriend was attracted to him.
Their dynamic was the polar opposite of the chaotic and resentful dynamic between my girlfriend and me.
At one point, my girlfriend turned to me and said:
“Oliver, I feel like the man in this relationship.”
But she wasn’t being cruel. She was just being honest.
And deep down… I knew she was right.
It wasn’t until years later, after doing the real inner work to shed my Nice Guy conditioning, that I saw it clearly.
My “nice guy” conditioning was sabotaging the relationship.
And here’s how:
Truth #1: Nice guys are fundamentally needy
They rely on women to validate them, regulate their emotions, and give their life meaning.
It creates a mother-child dynamic which kills respect and attraction.
At the festival, I wasn’t a solid, grounded man who respected himself.
I was a needy boy who needed her validation to the point where I couldn’t enjoy myself without it.
This neediness is a big part of what killed it.
Truth #2: Nice guys lack courage
They don’t speak up, set boundaries or tell the truth.
And if a man can’t stand up to her, how could he ever stand up for her?
The few times I communicated powerfully were around 15 minutes after a couple of workshops I did.
And the shift in our dynamic was obvious but unfortunately short-lived.
“nice guy Ollie” came back, and the chaos continued.
Truth #3: Nice guys have hidden agendas
They give to get.
They’re “nice” so they’ll be liked or loved.
And women feel it.
Even if you don’t say it out loud, the manipulative energy kills safety and trust.
I was being nice so that she would sleep with me.
And on some level, she realised it.
Truth #4: Nice guys don’t lead
They avoid responsibility.
Avoid decisions. Avoid taking charge.
Which forces her to step into the masculine and resent you for it.
She wanted to enjoy the festival .. but my “nice guy” programming came into the picture, forcing her to lead everything and feel stressed out in the process.
If you resonate with all of this, I feel you mate.
As you can see, I’ve been there.
If you feel this… and you’re sick of playing the passive, approval-seeking role…
And if you know there’s a strong, grounded leader in you who’s ready to emerge…
Now might be the time to step forward.
I’ve got 2 spaces open for 1:1 coaching in April.
This is for men ready to shed the Nice Guy mask, start being bold, unapologetic and authentic, which will allow you to become a desirable and attractive man who women deeply respect.
Stay courageous,
Oliver