Hey brother,
There’s a reason you don’t feel confident.
It’s not because you’re weak.
It’s not because you need to “fake it till you make it.”
It’s not even because you lack confidence.
It’s because, right now, you’re wearing a mask.
A mask that hides who you really are.
One you’ve spent your life polishing to keep the peace, avoid conflict, and be liked.
But the cost is that no one actually sees you.
They see the performance.
The version of you that never says no, never gets angry, never shows what he really wants.
I know this because I used to wear the same mask.
Mine was so tight it left wrinkles on my face from the fake smile I wore every day.
Until one day, it cracked.
I was sitting in my girlfriend’s kitchen at university when she looked at me and said:
“Ol, I have to let you go.”
She left me for another man.
And it shattered me.
Because I thought being nice was what people wanted.
I thought keeping the mask on would lead to love, safety, and connection.
But that breakup was the start of something else.
It led me to therapy.
And there, I finally saw where my mask had been born.
I was 8 years old.
Falsely accused of vandalising the school bathroom.
Dragged into the headmistress’s office while she screamed at me, inches from my face.
I thought I was going to pass out.
It was the first time I truly believed that who I was… was not okay.
That day, I buried the real me.
And I became the nice guy.
But that boy never disappeared.
He just got trapped behind the mask.
And here’s what I’ve learned.
You don’t need more confidence.
You don’t need more strategies or social tricks.
You need to stop carrying the shame you’ve been holding onto since childhood.
The boy inside you is still waiting for someone to show him he’s safe.
That he’s not broken.
That he was never the problem.
And when you finally meet that part of yourself with compassion instead of judgment, everything starts to change.
By becoming the man you were always meant to be.
If this resonates with you, I made a video that tells the full story. You can watch it here:
👉 Watch: You don’t need more confident … you need less shame.
It might be the most important video I’ve ever made.
Stay courageous,
Oliver