A few months ago, I started salsa classes.

And initially? It was one of the scariest things I'd done in a long time.

I was bad.

The women noticed.

They wanted me to lead them and I couldn't.

Other people could see that.

The perfectionist in me was screaming.

Part of me wanted to bolt for the door.

But I didn't. I stuck with it.

Because I realised that if I'd left, I would have been cementing an identity I didn't want.

The identity of a coward.

And to me, that's far worse than any temporary discomfort.

Then recently, I went to my first salsa social event.

The idea of walking into a room, approaching women, asking them to dance, and actually leading them?

That felt deeply vulnerable.

I knew I'd make mistakes. The women would feel them. Other people would watch.

I was scared. But fuck it.

I went anyway.

And here’s video proof that I did it (I sent this to a friend to hold me accountable haha).

Because here's what I know to be true:

If something really matters to you, and it scares you, the only real way out is through.

That means consistently showing up.

Doing the thing that matters, even when it's uncomfortable.

Taking new actions that build a new identity.

Not a man who avoids, but a man who is curious instead of cowardly.

That shift will ripple into your relationships in ways you can't yet imagine.

So I want to ask you something.

What's the last scary thing you did?

And if it's been longer than a week or two...

What's the next scary thing you're going to do?

Reply and let me know. I read every one.

Oliver

P.s. if you want to draw a line in the sand, stop procrastinating and LETTING FEAR WIN .. join my weekly men’s group and start your journey to being the confident, assertive and fiercely authentic man you know you can be.